"Very well, ready for take 3... tape running, 4, 3, 2- Oh, wait a moment...."

On the edge of launching myself into the song, I took a deep breath and sat back in my chair, which had been specially designed and built for the human form be Kirullian artisans. "What is it, Fhedge?" I asked the alien in the control room. He leaned over his microphone and I heard him in my headphones again.

"Sorry for the interruption, Zack. We've just been told that a transmission for you from your planet Dirt has been received on warpspace radio."

"Uh, that's Earth, Fhedge."

The music producer apologised, then gave me directions to the nearest comm-node, where I could get the message. When I got there a few minutes later the attendant showed me to a cubicle with a vid screen, then left me alone.

The screen lit with static for a moment and then resolved into a face- the first real human face I'd seen in almost a year.

"Chad! I thought you were incinerated with Ann Arbor!"

My old red-haired school chum smiled his goofy smile, but not quite as goofy as I remembered it. Something was wrong. "Hi, Zack, good to see you. No, I was working on Easter Island on my thesis when Ann Arbor bit it. Hey, I'm really glad to have reached you."

"You're glad," I said, " I haven't talked to an actual Earthling for-"

"Look, Zack, this call is costing me a bundle in intergalactic long-distance charges, so we have to be quick."

"What's up? Trouble? Did the Jeebies torch some more cities?"

Chad performed an outright frown, something I'd seen him do only four times in the 8 years I'd known him. "Yes, in fact, the highest level of learning institutions on the planet are now community colleges, due to more of the Jeebies' Ôclerical errors'. Graduate degrees can now only be granted by federal governments. Eight months ago I finished my thesis, disproving the Jeebie claim that they built Stonehenge, the Easter Island monuments, and the Mayan landing strips- but the United States Department of Education is still Ôprocessing' my application for a doctorate."

"Looks like you picked the wrong research topic, my archeologist friend."

"Yeah, well, I'm not holding my breath, considering how chummy the Jeebies have been with the government lately... But look, that's just my problem. The real reason I called, besides to tell you that things have gone from bad to worse here, is to let you know- hey, by the way, where are you? You're not in the Vega system, are you?"

"No, I'm on Kirulli recording an album. Why?"

"Marsha blasted off for Vega three weeks ago, to find you."

"What!"

"She said she realized that she couldn't be without you. She tried a subspace telegram to Vega Seven and when you didn't answer she got worried and just flew off to find you."

"What! All by herself?"

"Well, she was on a Jeebie cruiser, and her friend Julie went along. The thing is, two days after they left word came that your ship never made it to Vega."

I was flabbergasted. "We broke down in warpspace and then captured by pirates. How could she do this? Look for me? I could be anywhere! I wasn't even sure I was in the same time- line until you called just now. I don't believe it!"

"There's more- she was due in to Centauri Five a week ago. I called and found out the whole sector was quarantined due to Rigellian Viral Scourge, and her ship had been rerouted through Tau Ceti Alpha 9."

"That's quite a detour."

"Yeah. She won't get there for another 3 months."

"But their final destination is still Vega?"

"As far as I know. Warptime from Ceti to Vega is approximately 6 months, though."

"Jeesh." I couldn't believe Marsha had done this.

"She loves you, Zack. I could tell how much she regretted letting you go without her. She really had to find you."

"My god... well, look, Chad, I'm really glad you called, thanks a lot. I was planning on going on a concert tour anyway, so I'll head out to meet her. Kirulli is far away, though- even if I left today I wouldn't make it to Tau Ceti in time. Can you do me a favor and call her when she's due there? Tell her I'm on my way to Vega to meet her?"

"Sure, no problem- I'll fill her in. One more question, then I gotta go: Do these Kirullians speak English?"

"No, but they speak Jeebie. It turns out the Jeebies are the descendants of a race that spread their language across five galaxies- a language so colorful and meticulous that its hardly changed in 15 centuries."

"Wow. Well, good luck out there. I hear the universe is a dangerous place."

"Yeah. Thanks again. I owe you one. "

"When I have a girlfriend hurtling across the unknown depths of space hundreds of lightyears away, you can help me find her, too."

"Deal," I said, "good luck on Earth, man."

"Yeah. See ya."

"Later." I watched him press a button and the screen filled with static, his round face disappearing.

It was time to get moving.