author: Douglas Stone

name: Steev

average rating: 3.87

book published: 1999

rating: 5

read at: 2009/09/10

date added: 2009/09/16

shelves: spirit-self

review:
This is an incredibly inspiring and useful book. I think everyone who has any interest in getting along with other people should read this.



I could summarize the recommendations of this book with one general rule: Treat people like you care about them and how they feel, and make it obvious to them that you do. Of course, there are lots of details and ways to go about this, and the authors are painstaking in laying out a convincing method, breaking every conversation into 3 conversations and then explaining what each of those consists of.



The book is peppered with great examples that range from romantic relationships to business situations to neighbors with loud dogs to parent-child troubles.



Reading this made me sad, in a way, and also relieved because it made me understand even better that most conflicts are not between right and wrong, or evil and good, but between complicated, damaged people on both sides. People don't purposely do mean and jerky things just to be mean and jerky. They have reasons, stories, problems that have lead them to where they are. Care about those stories and you will go far. It may be actually easier to just write that person off as an asshole, but you'd be wrong, and you would not be resolving the conflict.