Well, actually, it was just a robot that sounded like John Kerry. He told me to press '1' if I didn't want George Bush to be in office for another 4 years. So I pressed 1. Then he said to press '1' if I might want to help out with a donation, even if not today. I pressed 1. Then he said if I wanted to donate now, he could transfer me to an operator, or they could contact me later. I hung up. Phone mazes are always wooden, but the quality of the Kerry samples were so flat and unemotional that I had the feeling that talking to the guy in person would be about the same, especially with the other examples of his speaking that I've seen, heard, or read about. "Great. Okay, now please leave us your email address so we can send you spam about our campaign. Again, please leave your email address after the tone."

Maybe it's just me, but somehow the idea of the future leader of the world's most powerful country recording half-hearted telemarketing messages, as if he was Aretha Franklin advertising the Psychic Friends Stairmaster Salad Shooter, really seems surreal. Is this an example of transparency in government? Maybe I can get a videotape of the President cleaning his own bathroom at the White House? Or a guy dressed up as the President, coming over to fix my bicycle, and mow the lawn?